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Save Yourself

by Circus Trees

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about

Save Yourself is a song of self-loathing, exploring issues of love and trust with the people most close to me, and taking the blame for it whenever one of these relationships goes wrong. Like so many others, I experienced a deep betrayal early in my life, and the void it left in my heart forms the core of the emotions that build within song. This is a painful, emotional, slow-building exploration of the feelings that linger when the person you thought you could always depend on has left you, and the effects of sabotage it has on every other relationship you try to have.

lyrics

I’m just a symphony
of love and agony,
my time is ticking,
and I can’t help but worry ‘bout the small things,
Like love.
You hurt me.
You don’t love me.
I’m sorry.

I can’t think clearly,
my cloudy mind just leaves me,
with thoughts I’m just lonely,
untangling what I couldn’t see.
And you’ll just leave me.
Say you’re sorry.
I’m just drowning,
in this story.

My mom she left me,
because I’m nobody,
because I just grew up,
and I guess I’m not lonely enough.
And I’m still choking.
Throat is closing.
I’m still coping.
I’m still coping.

I’ve got some damage
but I won’t let go.
I’ve got some damage
so you went off and left me alone.
And I still love you.
And what we went through.
And what we went through.
And I still love you.
I won’t leave you if you love me the way that I do.
But who am I kidding, I’d never follow through?

‘Cause I’m just the girl who can’t finish what’s already done.
‘Cause I’m hooked on all the small things and the small things matter too much.

And I love too easy,
a new obsession weekly,
made up in my head,
but they’re in love with others instead.
And I’ll wait for you.
‘Cause I adore you.
And what’s not true.
It’s nice to meet you.

I’m stuck in this story
of pain and love and glory,
rejection’s my fate,
and I just can’t handle the weight
on my shoulders.
’Til I’m older.
I’ll just crumble.
I’m in trouble.

And I’ll just collapse
while you fill in the gaps,
of why I’m alone,
I guess you just should’ve known.
I’ve got nothing.
‘Cause I’m too trusting.
‘Cause I’m too loving.
I guess that’s something for me.

I know I’m fucked up but
I’ll try to be somewhat of
a problematic love,
so you don’t have to deal with the above.
Save yourself from
our short-term love.
All my problems
that I’m not proud of.

I know I’m fucked up but
I’ll try to be somewhat of
a damned dramatic love,
so you don’t have to deal with the above.
Save yourself from
our short-term love.
All my problems
that I’m not proud of.

So find yourself some company.
Anyone, anyone but me.

credits

released August 1, 2023

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about

Circus Trees Marlborough, Massachusetts

We make music that doesn’t fit with our age, our gender, our living conditions; we are young, we are sisters, we spend our lives in the wastelands of suburbia.
Our songs are of pain, sadness, loss; our music drones, grinds, floats. We make this for us, and only us, but revel in the joy of sharing this with those who get it, feel it, are touched by it.
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